Single and Knowing Your Own Worth

Being a single person you can certainly get bombarded with clichés. There are the “supportive you’ll find someone eventually” clichés… It will happen when you least expect it, or just stop looking and they’ll find you. Then there are the other clichés, “the not so hopeful relationships are overrated” clichés, trust me you’re not missing out on anything, or it’s better because you don’t have to care. I don’t have to care? Are you kidding me? Honestly the main pit fall for single persons is that we care too much! We so desperately want to love someone and have them love us we jump heart first! The results are almost always disastrous! Falling too hard and too fast is something that is glorified in movies, books, and music, yet is completely inappropriate, and honestly horrifying for the other person in real life.

Too hard too fast!!!

I certainly know a thing or two about falling too hard and too fast. My first experience with this was probably around the age of 15, horrible age no? He was older, cooler, seemed to like me too, and was oh so cute. We talked a long while, and it seemed like he should make a move any day now and ask me out. Well he didn’t, he ignored me completely, then got himself a girlfriend (weird enough she sort of looked like me). I was crushed! I wondered what I did wrong, why didn’t he like me, and all the other things that cross a heartbroken 15 year olds mind. I eventually realized what he did was downright rude and I was much better off without him.

I wasn’t this mean…I just thought it was really funny.

Then  I was around 18 and a new guy came along…he was older, cooler, and crazy cute too. He and I talked a lot, sending messages to each other basically every other day, sharing our likes and dislikes, telling story after story, and asking question after question. I just “knew” things would work out for me this time, how could they not? He obviously liked me and we had soooo much in common! Well surprise surprise, things didn’t work out. He too gradually alienated me, no explanation, just a complete shut out. I was crushed again and couldn’t believe it! How could this be? We were so perfect for each other! Well this one took a long while to get over, ice cream and cookies were consumed, tears fell, and sad country songs were sung..horribly I might add, but I did eventually get over him. I realized it was through no fault of my own that things didn’t work out. I mean it hurt as bad as it did partly because I cared “too much”. But it wasn’t all my fault, and that felt great to know.

There have since been guys that caught my attention, as well as a bit of my heart. But obviously since I am still single it’s safe to say no relationship has worked out yet. I’m fine with it though, I really truly am! This doesn’t mean I have given up on the idea of eventually finding someone, it’s just I’m perfectly happy with my life. I don’t get anywhere near as devastated when things don’t go the way I wanted them too. Being single is not the worst thing in the world…the worst thing in the world is not knowing you own worth. I realized that’s why I had hurt so much when I was let down. I thought that it had must’ve been my fault. When in reality it wasn’t. I’m not saying that every relationship failure you have is not your fault, what I am saying though is learn from that experience, and know what you have to offer. Know your own worth, and enjoy your life to the fullest whether you’re with someone or not. I can expect to have my heartbroken a few more times because well… that’s life. But in the meantime I will be living it to the fullest, and will not be measuring my success in life by relationship status.

 What are some of the heartaches you’ve gone through? How did you get over them? Are you currently in the process of getting over someone? I would love some feedback on the topic, hearing from you guys is always a highlight of my day! Hope you all enjoyed the post, and wishing you all a very happy Monday!

What I learned from “Say Yes To The Dress”

So similarly to almost every other girly girl in the world I love watching shows about weddings and the like, but especially Say Yes To The Dress! A show about dresses? What could be better? I know most guys won’t understand…but let’s be honest we don’t really want them to. They have call of duty we have say yes to the dress. Funny enough though both sexes use the same excuse for their entertainment…”yes it’s fun but it’s educational!”. So here are some things that I have learned.

1. My mom is the best! If you have ever seen the show then you know the crazy moms, the ones who feel the need to live vicariously through their daughters, the control freaks, or the just straight up mean! So needless to say I am thankful my mom loves me and supports me with whatever my fashion decision is!

“I do not approve!!!!”

2. Almost every girly bride wants a Pnina Tornai gown! The dresses are beautiful no doubt…however if I am going to drop that kind of cash I would prefer a car! I can’t even imagine spending $30,000 on one thing!

3. Do not ever bring a giant group of people with you! I know there are several people whom you consider very close personal friends, but for goodness sake you don’t need all of them to choose a dress! You don’t have them choose your outfit everyday do you? Multiple people equates to multiple opinions! Save yourself a headache and only bring a select few of supportive friends/family.

“we have opinions and they will be heard!!!!!”

4. You may get to be princess for a day…but that does not mean you suddenly have a royal’s budget for your gown! Know your budget and stick to it! Don’t try on things you will never be able to afford, it will only break your heart!

5. NEVER BRING THE GROOM!!! Sure some people will use the excuse “well this day is about us” uh huh it certainly is but bringing him will only bring complications! You do not need him to tell you how to dress! You were dressing yourself long before he was in the picture.  Most grooms will nit pick just because they feel like they have to add something to the opinion pot, when the reality is if he had not been there and you picked the dress he had ripped apart  for your wedding day, he would think you were beautiful, because every good groom does! I mean have you ever heard of a groom saying “the wedding was great, but darling I wished you had gone another direction with your dress choice”? No you have not because most guys really don’t care, so don’t bring him along!

GROOMZILLA ON THE LOOSE!!!!

6. Randy is amazing enough said!

7. Know exactly what dress you purchased! I have watched several episodes where a bride walks into the fitting room and is unsure whether the dress in there is hers or not! Kleinfelds is huge and mix ups are bound to happen, just make sure you can catch one if it happens!

“Which one is mine???”

8.Vera scares me, the woman is a great at what she does, but her people skills are a little lacking!

9. Stay true to yourself, you want to look like you just a little better on your big day. After all what is fashion forward one year is horribly dated the next. Make sure you can look back at your pictures and smile, not cringe or worse not even recognize yourself!

“What was I thinking???”

10. Lastly, it is easy to get caught up in the craziness that a wedding brings, but remember it is not about a wedding it’s about a marriage! So don’t let people drive you crazy with their opinions and don’t kill yourself trying to impress your guests, it’s not about anyone else it is all about the bride and groom and their marriage! So don’t let the whole point of a wedding get lost in the mad commercialization!

 

Hope you enjoyed this post! Happy Thursday everyone!