Dating Advice From A Super Single Girl

This one’s for the guys!Seems like I am a little out of my league here huh? I’m single, so who am I to tell people how to date? Well like the old saying goes “Those who can’t do, teach”. I am also a girl so who am I to tell guys what to do? Consider this, wouldn’t you want a sneak peek at your opponents play book? Think of my mind as the play book for girls. Of course I cannot speak for all girls, but me and my friends all seem to agree on these things.

Tip 1. Be a gentleman.

Seriously I shouldn’t even have to say this. Being a gentleman is something one does all the time, not just when they are trying to win over some girl. I have heard guys say “Well I will be a gentleman when she is a lady” congratulations two wrongs totally make a right, you’re so smart…Except that you are not, a true gentleman will be the same towards unclassy females as he is to royalty! There is nothing more attractive in my eyes than a man with real manners and morals! So stay classy 😉

Tip 2. When we say we want a sensitive man we do not mean that we want a cry baby.

Honestly this is where I find myself having a lot of trouble with guys, they can be really great guys and fun to be around (for the most part) but they have a tendency to be a tad too emotional for my liking. When we say someone sensitive, we mean we want a guy who is sensitive to how he ought to act during certain situations. Like if we are having an ugly day, we want a guy who sensitive enough to not make a crack about our appearance. Not someone who crumbles, when during a verbal sparring match, you one up him. I have brothers and I grew up around guys mostly, so sarcastic comments are how I respond most of the time, just think of how when you were little if you liked a girl you picked on her relentlessly, it’s essentially the same way I operate 😉 If a man cannot handle a joke he certainly cannot handle the difficulties life throws at couples, so said man shall be passed over.

Tip 3. Know the difference between arrogance and confidence.

The picture suited the tip, please do not get political on me 🙂

Arrogance is defined as : An attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions.

Confidence is defined as : Faith or belief that one will act in right, proper, or effective way.

Arrogance is tiresome to be around, and confidence is not only a joy to be around it is also inspiring to be around. So which of the two would you rather be, tiresome or joyfully inspiring?

tip 4. Be straightforward.

Now of course do not be scary and say something like I want to father your children, because it could very well land you prison, or at the very least leave you with a face full of mace. But seriously if you like someone just ask them out. Faint heart never one fair lady is cheesy and overused but it’s quite true. Just sitting around hoping that she will one day realize how much you like her is not a good plan…Honestly even if she does know she probably wont do anything about it, because a guy is the one who is supposed to be the pursuer! But that’s old-fashioned and anti-feminist! Yes exactly, and who tends to be the best examples of happy couples? The elderly, those who were raised with old-fashioned morals. Take cue from them, after all the worse thing that could happen is that she will say no, and you wont date her, but honestly not asking her out is producing the same result as a no.

Tip 5. Possibly one of the most cliché tips of all time…Be yourself!

Look I know its cliché but has anyone ever heard of an imitation that was as valuable as the original? No! It may also seem contradictory to end a blog where I have been telling you what to do with “be yourself” but all of my tips were honestly about making you the best you possible. It’s like exercise, you’re still the same person, but you have improved what you were born with. You cannot be happy in a relationship if you are not first happy with yourself. I am well aware that all of this sounds like an episode of Oprah, were we all get in touch with our emotions, and its all kind of sickening, but its true. So love yourself or I will punch you in the face haha 😉

I hope you all enjoyed this post, and if you have any feedback or advice that you would like to share, please do. I love to hear from you all. Have a happy Halloween, and for those of you not celebrating Happy Wednesday!!!

Single and Knowing Your Own Worth

Being a single person you can certainly get bombarded with clichés. There are the “supportive you’ll find someone eventually” clichés… It will happen when you least expect it, or just stop looking and they’ll find you. Then there are the other clichés, “the not so hopeful relationships are overrated” clichés, trust me you’re not missing out on anything, or it’s better because you don’t have to care. I don’t have to care? Are you kidding me? Honestly the main pit fall for single persons is that we care too much! We so desperately want to love someone and have them love us we jump heart first! The results are almost always disastrous! Falling too hard and too fast is something that is glorified in movies, books, and music, yet is completely inappropriate, and honestly horrifying for the other person in real life.

Too hard too fast!!!

I certainly know a thing or two about falling too hard and too fast. My first experience with this was probably around the age of 15, horrible age no? He was older, cooler, seemed to like me too, and was oh so cute. We talked a long while, and it seemed like he should make a move any day now and ask me out. Well he didn’t, he ignored me completely, then got himself a girlfriend (weird enough she sort of looked like me). I was crushed! I wondered what I did wrong, why didn’t he like me, and all the other things that cross a heartbroken 15 year olds mind. I eventually realized what he did was downright rude and I was much better off without him.

I wasn’t this mean…I just thought it was really funny.

Then  I was around 18 and a new guy came along…he was older, cooler, and crazy cute too. He and I talked a lot, sending messages to each other basically every other day, sharing our likes and dislikes, telling story after story, and asking question after question. I just “knew” things would work out for me this time, how could they not? He obviously liked me and we had soooo much in common! Well surprise surprise, things didn’t work out. He too gradually alienated me, no explanation, just a complete shut out. I was crushed again and couldn’t believe it! How could this be? We were so perfect for each other! Well this one took a long while to get over, ice cream and cookies were consumed, tears fell, and sad country songs were sung..horribly I might add, but I did eventually get over him. I realized it was through no fault of my own that things didn’t work out. I mean it hurt as bad as it did partly because I cared “too much”. But it wasn’t all my fault, and that felt great to know.

There have since been guys that caught my attention, as well as a bit of my heart. But obviously since I am still single it’s safe to say no relationship has worked out yet. I’m fine with it though, I really truly am! This doesn’t mean I have given up on the idea of eventually finding someone, it’s just I’m perfectly happy with my life. I don’t get anywhere near as devastated when things don’t go the way I wanted them too. Being single is not the worst thing in the world…the worst thing in the world is not knowing you own worth. I realized that’s why I had hurt so much when I was let down. I thought that it had must’ve been my fault. When in reality it wasn’t. I’m not saying that every relationship failure you have is not your fault, what I am saying though is learn from that experience, and know what you have to offer. Know your own worth, and enjoy your life to the fullest whether you’re with someone or not. I can expect to have my heartbroken a few more times because well… that’s life. But in the meantime I will be living it to the fullest, and will not be measuring my success in life by relationship status.

 What are some of the heartaches you’ve gone through? How did you get over them? Are you currently in the process of getting over someone? I would love some feedback on the topic, hearing from you guys is always a highlight of my day! Hope you all enjoyed the post, and wishing you all a very happy Monday!