My Life As A Man Repeller.

In honor of the always fast approaching, depression inducing, stress causing holiday Valentines, that is only a matter of days away. I thought I might share this wee little post with all of you.

You know in social situations how you filter what you’re going to say more so than hanging with family or best friends? Well I try, I really do, but the problem is responses are expected in a timely manner, so my filter doesn’t work that well with time restraints…and certainly not when I am around guys. It’s not so much that I get flustered (I’m not that girl) I think it just comes from growing up with brothers. I’ve spent my entire life around guys, my brothers and their friends. So I essentially learned to be one of the guys, I mean I am a girly girl in most respects. But my whole, let’s see who can burp the loudest, batman is the greatest hero of all time, and if the opportunity arises to tease someone you take it, thing cancels out the girly! Most guys say they want a girl who can hang with the guys, but I’m pretty sure this is a lie, having guy say “you’re just like a dude” never ends in “so let’s have dinner sometime”.

Who remember’s this movie?

I thought I might give you some examples of my man repellent ways. I was at a concert and a guy walked up to me and some of my friends, he was selling band posters, and he tried to get me to buy one, but I hadn’t any money so I said no. Then he tried to sell some to the friends I was with, they politely said no and complimented him, one said she liked his beard and the other said she liked his shirt. Seriously it never even occurred to me to compliment him to soften the flat-out no he received. Well instead of walking away he looked at me and said “You’re the only one who hasn’t complimented me” wow he gave me a chance to redeem myself and what did I say? I said “You’re pushy…your sales tactics will get you far”. Admittedly he responded quite well to this he gave me high-five and we’re actually friends now. But most guys who have similar encounters with me do not respond as well.

Another not so charming encounter that comes to mind is when I was at birthday party of a friend. Well one of guys she invited sauntered up to me after a while and used the oh so “original” line”Hey I know you right?” Well my mind went into overdrive trying to find something polite to say. I couldn’t think of anything so I just said “No…I don’t think so”. He literally took a step back stammered then said “Ugh ya I mean she just has so many friends so um ya”. Seriously there were so many other polite things I could have said but I cannot come up with anything because I am truly gifted in killing any flirtatious mood.

At this very birthday party I managed to make a complete fool of myself again. At the end of the evening one of the guys I met, and had actually managed to get along with through the party, said that it was nice meeting me and that I was very beautiful. I did my ugly laugh (seriously I cannot even describe how terrible this laugh sounds) then managed a smile and said thank you. I wasn’t laughing to be mean, I just have a really hard time accepting a compliment without getting all embarrassed.

Honestly I think this post does a pretty good job at telling people why I am still single, so the next time someone asks me I’ll just direct them to this post. Do you guys have similar issues? What are some of your worst kill the mood moments? I always love hearing back from you guys. I hope you enjoyed this post and that you’re having a very happy February.

Single and Knowing Your Own Worth

Being a single person you can certainly get bombarded with clichés. There are the “supportive you’ll find someone eventually” clichés… It will happen when you least expect it, or just stop looking and they’ll find you. Then there are the other clichés, “the not so hopeful relationships are overrated” clichés, trust me you’re not missing out on anything, or it’s better because you don’t have to care. I don’t have to care? Are you kidding me? Honestly the main pit fall for single persons is that we care too much! We so desperately want to love someone and have them love us we jump heart first! The results are almost always disastrous! Falling too hard and too fast is something that is glorified in movies, books, and music, yet is completely inappropriate, and honestly horrifying for the other person in real life.

Too hard too fast!!!

I certainly know a thing or two about falling too hard and too fast. My first experience with this was probably around the age of 15, horrible age no? He was older, cooler, seemed to like me too, and was oh so cute. We talked a long while, and it seemed like he should make a move any day now and ask me out. Well he didn’t, he ignored me completely, then got himself a girlfriend (weird enough she sort of looked like me). I was crushed! I wondered what I did wrong, why didn’t he like me, and all the other things that cross a heartbroken 15 year olds mind. I eventually realized what he did was downright rude and I was much better off without him.

I wasn’t this mean…I just thought it was really funny.

Then  I was around 18 and a new guy came along…he was older, cooler, and crazy cute too. He and I talked a lot, sending messages to each other basically every other day, sharing our likes and dislikes, telling story after story, and asking question after question. I just “knew” things would work out for me this time, how could they not? He obviously liked me and we had soooo much in common! Well surprise surprise, things didn’t work out. He too gradually alienated me, no explanation, just a complete shut out. I was crushed again and couldn’t believe it! How could this be? We were so perfect for each other! Well this one took a long while to get over, ice cream and cookies were consumed, tears fell, and sad country songs were sung..horribly I might add, but I did eventually get over him. I realized it was through no fault of my own that things didn’t work out. I mean it hurt as bad as it did partly because I cared “too much”. But it wasn’t all my fault, and that felt great to know.

There have since been guys that caught my attention, as well as a bit of my heart. But obviously since I am still single it’s safe to say no relationship has worked out yet. I’m fine with it though, I really truly am! This doesn’t mean I have given up on the idea of eventually finding someone, it’s just I’m perfectly happy with my life. I don’t get anywhere near as devastated when things don’t go the way I wanted them too. Being single is not the worst thing in the world…the worst thing in the world is not knowing you own worth. I realized that’s why I had hurt so much when I was let down. I thought that it had must’ve been my fault. When in reality it wasn’t. I’m not saying that every relationship failure you have is not your fault, what I am saying though is learn from that experience, and know what you have to offer. Know your own worth, and enjoy your life to the fullest whether you’re with someone or not. I can expect to have my heartbroken a few more times because well… that’s life. But in the meantime I will be living it to the fullest, and will not be measuring my success in life by relationship status.

 What are some of the heartaches you’ve gone through? How did you get over them? Are you currently in the process of getting over someone? I would love some feedback on the topic, hearing from you guys is always a highlight of my day! Hope you all enjoyed the post, and wishing you all a very happy Monday!

Is Social Media Making Us Anti-Social?

Uh hold on a sec…I’ll start this blog in a minute I’m talking to someone.

Ok I’m back sorry 😉 What were we talking about? Oh ya, is social media making us anti-social? I mean as I sit here writing this I am practically shunning my own family, people who I could literally reach out and touch, just so I can talk to people, must of whom I will never meet.

How many times have you been out with a friend, and heard a buzz, beep, ring, or clip of a song, only to have them whip out their precious phone like an asthmatic whips out their inhaler during an attack?

I believe it was Jerry Seinfeld that said talking on your phone while with someone, was the equivalent to opening a magazine in front of their face and reading it. I must say I agree, of course I have been guilty of this (not anymore though cause I haven’t a cell phone). But I just find it so rude, I mean here I am a person who has made time in their day to specifically spend time with you, and you are going to ignore me to talk to someone who has made no more effort than it takes to pop popcorn in a microwave? Seriously do I have to push buttons in order to get your undivided attention?

Oh the wonder that is Facebook. Don’t get me wrong, I really love Facebook, it’s a great way to get more clients, talk to faraway friends, and find old friends who I had lost touch with. But I feel as though it can convenience you right out of a social life, oh well I don’t need to pick up the phone, or go see said person, I can just talk to them on Facebook. Not to mention if you live with anyone you tend to alienate them to be on the computer.

Then there is twitter and instagram, hey I know how about I tell/show everyone what I am up to right now, that way they’ll think I’m cool, and the next time I see them they wont have to even ask what I’ve been up to, cause they will have seen all of have done lately.

If I am starting to sound like an old fogey I’m sorry, I just felt like it’s something I should write about. I really do enjoy social media, I just happen to love spending real time with people more. I feel as though I should challenge myself to be more sociable, and for others to do the same. How horrible is it going to be when our children ask us what we did in our hayday, and all we can respond with is I spent a lot of time on the computer and phone? Get out go party and talk to people in front of you! You need to make friends not add them! I really hope you all enjoyed this post, and that this didn’t come across too preachy. I love you guys and wish you have a very happy Wednesday.

You Might Be An Artist If…

The fabulous comedian Jeff Foxworthy has made a whole routine about “You might be a redneck if…” Funny and ashamedly enough I have found instances where I was indeed a redneck. One of the jokes goes something like “You might be a redneck if you have several cars in your driveway but the only thing mobile is your home” this was in fact true for the first few years of my life. I have managed to accept some my Texas redneck ways, but one thing I sort of struggled with was identifying myself as an artist, I mean artists are painters, sketch artists, musicians, certain types of photographers, and writers, I am none of these. But friends and family have told me that being  the photographer that I am did indeed make me an artist. This last week I realized how much of an artist I am…No this is not me bragging on how gorgeous my latest portrait is, in fact it is me making light of the silly habits I have. So here is my spin on a classic comedy set up.

You might be an artist if…

You sometimes entertain the idea of being homeless.

No not the have to sleep in cardboard box kind of hobo, but the kind that jumps on trains and takes up odd jobs so you can travel and see the world…even if it isn’t so glamorous.

You constantly worry that you are just a hack, and anyone with half a brain could do what you.

What if I’m just not original enough???

The idea of packing it all in and getting yourself a “proper” career crosses your mind daily.

Consisent pay and benefits are quite tempting.

If you keep a notepad full of artistic ideas, but honestly it’s mostly gibberish.

What the heck did I write???

A nervous breakdown is commonplace for you.

 A little sobbing is therapeutic right?

You understand why artist are often drunks.

It’ll help my art right? I’ll drink to that.

After all the horrible insecurities manifest you realize you have unique point of view, and decide to stick it out like a beast, because nothing makes you happier than your art!

So whether you are a worldwide success or merely accomplished by your own standards, understand that you worked hard to get where you are, or that you are working to get somewhere. Know your worth and keep your head high because it’s so worth it!

I hope you all enjoyed this post, and if you have any similar feelings please feel free to share. I love feedback! Happy Friday and an equally happy weekend to you all!

Sexy And I Know It!

There seems to be this idea floating around that if you’re a photographer then you are also excellent at modeling. In my case this could not be further from the truth. There is a reason why I am behind the camera for my profession! It’s because over half of the pictures I have taken of myself look like so…

I must have been about three when this picture was taken, as you can see I haven’t changed much in the last 17 years. I thought I might give  you guys a laugh at my own expense today 😉 Typically I only share the pretty pictures, but that’s not who I am most of the time, most of the time I am the crazy faced, snorts when she laughs, goofball in the pictures you see above. I hope you all enjoyed this post, and if you guys have any silly or embarrassing pictures you want to share please feel free. Happy Wednesday!