One of my favorite quotes of all time is from the Oscar Wilde play The Importance of Being Earnest, that quote is “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance”. At first glance most people merely find this quote humorous and rather vain, but in all honesty its rather smart. I know I joke a lot about being single, find that one of my most used hashtags on twitter is #ForeverAlone, and I would very much like to be done with the weeding out the terrible guys and find The One already, but even with these these slight annoyances in my life I’m actually quite happy, don’t get me wrong I still have my moments, but for the most part I am a pretty happy person. I think the main reason I am happy even though I am all “alone” is that I honestly do love myself. Some people cringe to say things like that, I was one of those people just a couple of years ago, I had scarcely any self-esteem and was so eager to have a relationship. During the time I had zip confidence just so happens to be the same time I attracted some really awful guys, talk about heartbreak, having no confidence and have someone who you thought was wonderful treat you with no concern certainly can damage you further. But I learned from my mistakes and have essentially been uninterested in guys since then, of course there is the random cute cashier, jogger, etc that catches my eye, but no one has captured my interest. I am good deal more discriminating and a heck of a lot more confident. Keep in mind it wasn’t an overnight transformation, but everyone can learn to love themselves better. I didn’t like my body (too fat) and since I could change it I did, nothing like a bit of yoga and healthy eating to change your shape, I also used to hate my nose, thought it was too big, then I thought what could I do about it? I could have surgery to change it as drastic as that may seem, but then I thought even if I could change it to a perfect little nose would it suit me? No it wouldn’t, God knew what he was doing so I should leave well enough alone. Then began the real work, dealing with the internal issues, we all have baggage and we all need to learn to let go of what’s hurting us. Most of my baggage was self inflicted, for the most part people were kind to me, my lack of confidence came from me tearing myself down, I was my own worst “mean girl”. Learning to love myself was not quick but it was definitely worth it. Remember to be kind and to extend grace to yourself, because if you’re not even kind to you can you really expect anyone else to? I know this post is beyond sappy but I felt as though I should write it regardless of me sounding like a preachy life coach. So all of you singles who are reading my blog let’s start our lifelong romance with ourselves, Valentines is coming up so be your own valentine. Do you want flowers? Buy some for yourself? Want a steak dinner? Make it happen! Been wanting a certain gift? What better day than Valentines to buy it? You’re unattached so it’s not as though you need to buy something for boyfriend or girlfriend, so splurge and buy yourself that camera, shoes, tv, or whatever it is you’ve been eyeballing! Honestly this is even good advice for those of you who are in relationships, by loving yourself better you also love those around you better. So let us all be little kinder hmmm? You guys are the best, and I hope you all enjoyed this post. Happy Monday and wish you all a Happy Valentines too.
This one’s for the guys!Seems like I am a little out of my league here huh? I’m single, so who am I to tell people how to date? Well like the old saying goes “Those who can’t do, teach”. I am also a girl so who am I to tell guys what to do? Consider this, wouldn’t you want a sneak peek at your opponents play book? Think of my mind as the play book for girls. Of course I cannot speak for all girls, but me and my friends all seem to agree on these things.
Tip 1. Be a gentleman.
Seriously I shouldn’t even have to say this. Being a gentleman is something one does all the time, not just when they are trying to win over some girl. I have heard guys say “Well I will be a gentleman when she is a lady” congratulations two wrongs totally make a right, you’re so smart…Except that you are not, a true gentleman will be the same towards unclassy females as he is to royalty! There is nothing more attractive in my eyes than a man with real manners and morals! So stay classy 😉
Tip 2. When we say we want a sensitive man we do not mean that we want a cry baby.
Honestly this is where I find myself having a lot of trouble with guys, they can be really great guys and fun to be around (for the most part) but they have a tendency to be a tad too emotional for my liking. When we say someone sensitive, we mean we want a guy who is sensitive to how he ought to act during certain situations. Like if we are having an ugly day, we want a guy who sensitive enough to not make a crack about our appearance. Not someone who crumbles, when during a verbal sparring match, you one up him. I have brothers and I grew up around guys mostly, so sarcastic comments are how I respond most of the time, just think of how when you were little if you liked a girl you picked on her relentlessly, it’s essentially the same way I operate 😉 If a man cannot handle a joke he certainly cannot handle the difficulties life throws at couples, so said man shall be passed over.
Tip 3. Know the difference between arrogance and confidence.
Arrogance is defined as : An attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions.
Confidence is defined as : Faith or belief that one will act in right, proper, or effective way.
Arrogance is tiresome to be around, and confidence is not only a joy to be around it is also inspiring to be around. So which of the two would you rather be, tiresome or joyfully inspiring?
tip 4. Be straightforward.
Now of course do not be scary and say something like I want to father your children, because it could very well land you prison, or at the very least leave you with a face full of mace. But seriously if you like someone just ask them out. Faint heart never one fair lady is cheesy and overused but it’s quite true. Just sitting around hoping that she will one day realize how much you like her is not a good plan…Honestly even if she does know she probably wont do anything about it, because a guy is the one who is supposed to be the pursuer! But that’s old-fashioned and anti-feminist! Yes exactly, and who tends to be the best examples of happy couples? The elderly, those who were raised with old-fashioned morals. Take cue from them, after all the worse thing that could happen is that she will say no, and you wont date her, but honestly not asking her out is producing the same result as a no.
Tip 5. Possibly one of the most cliché tips of all time…Be yourself!
Look I know its cliché but has anyone ever heard of an imitation that was as valuable as the original? No! It may also seem contradictory to end a blog where I have been telling you what to do with “be yourself” but all of my tips were honestly about making you the best you possible. It’s like exercise, you’re still the same person, but you have improved what you were born with. You cannot be happy in a relationship if you are not first happy with yourself. I am well aware that all of this sounds like an episode of Oprah, were we all get in touch with our emotions, and its all kind of sickening, but its true. So love yourself or I will punch you in the face haha 😉
I hope you all enjoyed this post, and if you have any feedback or advice that you would like to share, please do. I love to hear from you all. Have a happy Halloween, and for those of you not celebrating Happy Wednesday!!!