Learning from Oscar Wilde

One of my favorite quotes of all time is from the Oscar Wilde play The Importance of Being Earnest, that quote is “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance”. At first glance most people merely find this quote humorous and rather vain, but in all honesty its rather smart. I know I joke a lot about being single, find that one of my most used hashtags on twitter is #ForeverAlone, and I would very much like to be done with the weeding out the terrible guys and find The One already, but even with these these slight annoyances in my life I’m actually quite happy, don’t get me wrong I still have my moments, but for the most part I am a pretty happy person.  I think the main reason I am happy even though I am all “alone” is that I honestly do love myself. Some people cringe to say things like that, I was one of those people just a couple of years ago, I had scarcely any self-esteem and was so eager to have a relationship. During the time I had zip confidence just so happens to be the same time I attracted some really awful guys, talk about heartbreak, having no confidence and have someone who you thought was wonderful treat you with no concern certainly can damage you further. But I learned from my mistakes and have essentially been uninterested in guys since then, of course there is the random cute cashier, jogger, etc that catches my eye, but no one has captured my interest. I am good deal more discriminating and a heck of a lot more confident. Keep in mind it wasn’t an overnight transformation, but everyone can learn to love themselves better. I didn’t like my body (too fat) and since I could change it I did, nothing like a bit of yoga and healthy eating to change your shape, I also used to hate my nose, thought it was too big, then I thought what could I do about it? I could have surgery to change it as drastic as that may seem, but then I thought even if I could change it to a perfect little nose would it suit me? No it wouldn’t, God knew what he was doing so I should leave well enough alone. Then began the real work, dealing with the internal issues, we all have baggage and we all need to learn to let go of what’s hurting us. Most of my baggage was self inflicted, for the most part people were kind to me, my lack of confidence came from me tearing myself down, I was my own worst “mean girl”. Learning to love myself was not quick but it was definitely worth it. Remember to be kind and to extend grace to yourself, because if you’re not even kind to you can you really expect anyone else to? I know this post is beyond sappy but I felt as though I should write it regardless of me sounding like a preachy life coach. So all of you singles who are reading my blog let’s start our lifelong romance with ourselves, Valentines is coming up so be your own valentine. Do you want flowers? Buy some for yourself? Want a steak dinner? Make it happen! Been wanting a certain gift? What better day than Valentines to buy it? You’re unattached so it’s not as though you need to buy something for boyfriend or girlfriend, so splurge and buy yourself that camera, shoes, tv, or whatever it is you’ve been eyeballing! Honestly this is even good advice for those of you who are in relationships, by loving yourself better you also love those around you better. So let us all be little kinder hmmm? You guys are the best, and I hope you all enjoyed this post. Happy Monday and wish you all a Happy Valentines too.

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