My Life As A Man Repeller.

In honor of the always fast approaching, depression inducing, stress causing holiday Valentines, that is only a matter of days away. I thought I might share this wee little post with all of you.

You know in social situations how you filter what you’re going to say more so than hanging with family or best friends? Well I try, I really do, but the problem is responses are expected in a timely manner, so my filter doesn’t work that well with time restraints…and certainly not when I am around guys. It’s not so much that I get flustered (I’m not that girl) I think it just comes from growing up with brothers. I’ve spent my entire life around guys, my brothers and their friends. So I essentially learned to be one of the guys, I mean I am a girly girl in most respects. But my whole, let’s see who can burp the loudest, batman is the greatest hero of all time, and if the opportunity arises to tease someone you take it, thing cancels out the girly! Most guys say they want a girl who can hang with the guys, but I’m pretty sure this is a lie, having guy say “you’re just like a dude” never ends in “so let’s have dinner sometime”.

Who remember’s this movie?

I thought I might give you some examples of my man repellent ways. I was at a concert and a guy walked up to me and some of my friends, he was selling band posters, and he tried to get me to buy one, but I hadn’t any money so I said no. Then he tried to sell some to the friends I was with, they politely said no and complimented him, one said she liked his beard and the other said she liked his shirt. Seriously it never even occurred to me to compliment him to soften the flat-out no he received. Well instead of walking away he looked at me and said “You’re the only one who hasn’t complimented me” wow he gave me a chance to redeem myself and what did I say? I said “You’re pushy…your sales tactics will get you far”. Admittedly he responded quite well to this he gave me high-five and we’re actually friends now. But most guys who have similar encounters with me do not respond as well.

Another not so charming encounter that comes to mind is when I was at birthday party of a friend. Well one of guys she invited sauntered up to me after a while and used the oh so “original” line”Hey I know you right?” Well my mind went into overdrive trying to find something polite to say. I couldn’t think of anything so I just said “No…I don’t think so”. He literally took a step back stammered then said “Ugh ya I mean she just has so many friends so um ya”. Seriously there were so many other polite things I could have said but I cannot come up with anything because I am truly gifted in killing any flirtatious mood.

At this very birthday party I managed to make a complete fool of myself again. At the end of the evening one of the guys I met, and had actually managed to get along with through the party, said that it was nice meeting me and that I was very beautiful. I did my ugly laugh (seriously I cannot even describe how terrible this laugh sounds) then managed a smile and said thank you. I wasn’t laughing to be mean, I just have a really hard time accepting a compliment without getting all embarrassed.

Honestly I think this post does a pretty good job at telling people why I am still single, so the next time someone asks me I’ll just direct them to this post. Do you guys have similar issues? What are some of your worst kill the mood moments? I always love hearing back from you guys. I hope you enjoyed this post and that you’re having a very happy February.

Single and Knowing Your Own Worth

Being a single person you can certainly get bombarded with clichés. There are the “supportive you’ll find someone eventually” clichés… It will happen when you least expect it, or just stop looking and they’ll find you. Then there are the other clichés, “the not so hopeful relationships are overrated” clichés, trust me you’re not missing out on anything, or it’s better because you don’t have to care. I don’t have to care? Are you kidding me? Honestly the main pit fall for single persons is that we care too much! We so desperately want to love someone and have them love us we jump heart first! The results are almost always disastrous! Falling too hard and too fast is something that is glorified in movies, books, and music, yet is completely inappropriate, and honestly horrifying for the other person in real life.

Too hard too fast!!!

I certainly know a thing or two about falling too hard and too fast. My first experience with this was probably around the age of 15, horrible age no? He was older, cooler, seemed to like me too, and was oh so cute. We talked a long while, and it seemed like he should make a move any day now and ask me out. Well he didn’t, he ignored me completely, then got himself a girlfriend (weird enough she sort of looked like me). I was crushed! I wondered what I did wrong, why didn’t he like me, and all the other things that cross a heartbroken 15 year olds mind. I eventually realized what he did was downright rude and I was much better off without him.

I wasn’t this mean…I just thought it was really funny.

Then  I was around 18 and a new guy came along…he was older, cooler, and crazy cute too. He and I talked a lot, sending messages to each other basically every other day, sharing our likes and dislikes, telling story after story, and asking question after question. I just “knew” things would work out for me this time, how could they not? He obviously liked me and we had soooo much in common! Well surprise surprise, things didn’t work out. He too gradually alienated me, no explanation, just a complete shut out. I was crushed again and couldn’t believe it! How could this be? We were so perfect for each other! Well this one took a long while to get over, ice cream and cookies were consumed, tears fell, and sad country songs were sung..horribly I might add, but I did eventually get over him. I realized it was through no fault of my own that things didn’t work out. I mean it hurt as bad as it did partly because I cared “too much”. But it wasn’t all my fault, and that felt great to know.

There have since been guys that caught my attention, as well as a bit of my heart. But obviously since I am still single it’s safe to say no relationship has worked out yet. I’m fine with it though, I really truly am! This doesn’t mean I have given up on the idea of eventually finding someone, it’s just I’m perfectly happy with my life. I don’t get anywhere near as devastated when things don’t go the way I wanted them too. Being single is not the worst thing in the world…the worst thing in the world is not knowing you own worth. I realized that’s why I had hurt so much when I was let down. I thought that it had must’ve been my fault. When in reality it wasn’t. I’m not saying that every relationship failure you have is not your fault, what I am saying though is learn from that experience, and know what you have to offer. Know your own worth, and enjoy your life to the fullest whether you’re with someone or not. I can expect to have my heartbroken a few more times because well… that’s life. But in the meantime I will be living it to the fullest, and will not be measuring my success in life by relationship status.

 What are some of the heartaches you’ve gone through? How did you get over them? Are you currently in the process of getting over someone? I would love some feedback on the topic, hearing from you guys is always a highlight of my day! Hope you all enjoyed the post, and wishing you all a very happy Monday!