My Life As A Man Repeller.

In honor of the always fast approaching, depression inducing, stress causing holiday Valentines, that is only a matter of days away. I thought I might share this wee little post with all of you.woman-slapping-man12

You know in social situations how you filter what you’re going to say more so than hanging with family or best friends? Well I try, I really do, but the problem is responses are expected in a timely manner, so my filter doesn’t work that well with time restraints…and certainly not when I am around guys. It’s not so much that I get flustered (I’m not that girl) I think it just comes from growing up with brothers. I’ve spent my entire life around guys, my brothers and their friends. So I essentially learned to be one of the guys, I mean I am a girly girl in most respects. But my whole, let’s see who can burp the loudest, batman is the greatest hero of all time, and if the opportunity arises to tease someone you take it, thing cancels out the girly! Most guys say they want a girl who can hang with the guys, but I’m pretty sure this is a lie, having guy say “you’re just like a dude” never ends in “so let’s have dinner sometime”.

iceboxWho remember’s this movie?

I thought I might give you some examples of my man repellent ways. I was at a concert and a guy walked up to me and some of my friends, he was selling band posters, and he tried to get me to buy one, but I hadn’t any money so I said no. Then he tried to sell some to the friends I was with, they politely said no and complimented him, one said she liked his beard and the other said she liked his shirt. Seriously it never even occurred to me to compliment him to soften the flat-out no he received. Well instead of walking away he looked at me and said “You’re the only one who hasn’t complimented me” wow he gave me a chance to redeem myself and what did I say? I said “You’re pushy…your sales tactics will get you far”. Admittedly he responded quite well to this he gave me high-five and we’re actually friends now. But most guys who have similar encounters with me do not respond as well.

Another not so charming encounter that comes to mind is when I was at birthday party of a friend. Well one of guys she invited sauntered up to me after a while and used the oh so “original” line”Hey I know you right?” Well my mind went into overdrive trying to find something polite to say. I couldn’t think of anything so I just said “No…I don’t think so”. He literally took a step back stammered then said “Ugh ya I mean she just has so many friends so um ya”. Seriously there were so many other polite things I could have said but I cannot come up with anything because I am truly gifted in killing any flirtatious mood.

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At this very birthday party I managed to make a complete fool of myself again. At the end of the evening one of the guys I met, and had actually managed to get along with through the party, said that it was nice meeting me and that I was very beautiful. I did my ugly laugh (seriously I cannot even describe how terrible this laugh sounds) then managed a smile and said thank you. I wasn’t laughing to be mean, I just have a really hard time accepting a compliment without getting all embarrassed.

Honestly I think this post does a pretty good job at telling people why I am still single, so the next time someone asks me I’ll just direct them to this post. Do you guys have similar issues? What are some of your worst kill the mood moments? I always love hearing back from you guys. I hope you enjoyed this post and that you’re having a very happy February.

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